Top Ten Things You SHOULDN' T Say to a Police Officer

1. That uniform makes your butt look really big.
   
   
2. I wanted to be a cop but decided to finish high school instead.
   
   
3. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
   
   
4. Didn't I see you get your butt whooped on Cops?
   
   
5. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.
   
   
6. Gee, thanks! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
   
   
7. A 9mm? Sheesh! Check out this .44 magnum!
   
   
8. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
   
   
9. Here, hold my beer so I can reach my license.
   
   
10. Aren't you that guy from the village people?